Peeling Forgiveness

Recently I experienced one of those personal learning moments. You know the type? Incredibly-hard-to-embrace when they are fresh but oh-so-valuable once clarity settles in?

Looking back I can see I'd been moving towards this one for a while. In hindsight the process wasn't pretty and I could have chosen to handle some things differently, but now that I have finally had my moment, I know every step was absolutely necessary.  

The climax took root during a conversation with a new friend (someone my gut tells me I will come to love and adore as our friendship develops). She is genuine, kind, and intelligent, and incredibly real and welcoming. Perhaps that is why, during our conversation, I (being brutally honest and unfiltered as I sometimes tend to be) said something about another person's behavior that stopped me in my tracks. It was accurate, but it was very harsh. As soon as it popped out of my mouth I thought, "Wait. This is not me. I don't say things like that (at least not out loud!)."  Then as a quick follow-up... "But [my new friend] doesn't know that. What must she think?" Then...

"What is really going on here?"

On the drive home I questioned myself about why I would say something so unkind about someone else, regardless of how justified my defenses told me it was. It was disrespectful and hurtful, and honestly, I was ashamed.

Peeling back the layers I began to see it. And I finally had to admit to myself (my biggest supporter and my harshest critic) that I said something hurtful because, at the core, I am deeply disappointed - and have been really hurt - by the way the subject of my comment has treated me. Really hurt.  

But I don't want to feel hurt! 

Peeling away, I found anger with myself for letting me get hurt in the first place. Next, I found anger with her (the perpetrator) for treating me so poorly (I do not and never will understand it). Then, like the kinks and tightness that slowly release during an amazing massage, I felt the negative energy locked up inside begin to evaporate. The weight and intensity of the hurt I had been carrying around faded as each layer peeled away. And forgiveness settled in. 

Forgiveness for her. And for me.  

This latest opportunity to "peel" has reminded me once again that regardless of the challenges others put forth, what matters most is that I stay true to myself.  I'm certainly not perfect and I'll have slip ups more often than I'd like, but taking care to be my caring, loving, forgiving self is what makes me strong and confident and successful. It's what leads me to ultimately see the good in others and remember to appreciate the beauty around me. It's what makes me, me.

And that is worth embracing.

Leadership Gift

Good morning Inspiring Girls and Guys!

The last couple of months have included many leadership opportunities and lessons for me personally as I have worked to get to know, understand, and hopefully inspire new friends, clients, and colleagues. I'm guessing it's been similar for you, which leads me to share a post I find myself returning to again and again.

DJ Patil expertly captures the essence of leadership in this Fast Company feature, reposted last month on The One-Page Co. blog.  I'm happy to share with you Patil's thoughts on leadership, and invite you to consider them a special delivery gift, wrapped by IGE with a big, sparkling bow!   

Leadership traits that inspire and innovate

By Joanna Riley Weidenmiller on November 27th, 2012 | Comments(2)

192
inShare

In the business world, management and leadership positions are sometimes confused as one similar entity, but when looked at more closely, it becomes clear the two are not one in the same. A manager’s duties is focused on organization, coordination, and delegation. Great leaders go above and beyond their duties, ultimately motivating and inspiring the entire team.

While not all managers are great leaders, all leaders are great managers.

Recently, DJ Patil, data scientist from Greylock Partners, was briefly featured in Fast Company and gave an intriguing response to changing the strategic direction of a business. “[P]eople think they have to grab the steering wheel and turn the car. I think a better way to think about is, actually, how do you lead through inspiration? Who do you look to for inspiration? ” he said.

Great leaders who inspire their teams have the following traits:

1. Passion

The kind of passion involved in leadership isn’t overbearing and loud; it’s a deep unwavering commitment to an overall mission. A truly great leader is deeply passionate in the company vision, mission, and values. This sort of passion portrayed by a leader is easily shared and emulated by employees, co-workers, and any other individual that comes in contact with a leader. A passionate leader easily connects the dots of the big picture for their company and helps to reinforce the message of its existence to employees.

2. Integrity

No great leader is without integrity. Honesty and consistency of values are vital to the functionality of a company with inspired, innovative employees. An individual who leads with integrity doesn’t need to boast about beliefs and values because they are woven through every action. Companies that value integrity often have a workforce that deeply believes in company values and strives to represent them to the fullest.

3. Engage, listen, empathize

Strong leaders place a high value on the people of their company. Whether it’s by showing interest in their day-to-day activities or by listening to their needs, leaders respect and inspire their employees by remaining connected. The standard for internal communication is generally set by the leader; their personable stance on employee engagement allows for the building of a strong company foundation.

When inspirational leaders aren’t communicating, they’re taking time to listen to the feedback of their employees. True leaders are valued for their ability to empathize.

4. Innovation

If a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, then a company is only as innovative as its leader. Inspiring innovation throughout a company is a task that many managers often fail to accomplish. A truly innovative leader doesn’t just stay ahead of the times with an open and forward-thinking mindset; he or she sets the standard for employees by being a thought leader. This alone is sure to create an awe-inspiring movement toward internal innovation.

5. Energy

An inspiring leader leaves employees feeling motivated and confident. This kind of energyisn’t something that can be created or faked. It’s something that can be felt through an entire brand. Truly passionate and driven leaders are more than motivational speakers, their workforces are usually positive, level-headed, and oozing with passion.

A workforce inspired by excellent leadership is sure to be creative, forward-thinking, and motivated toward the company mission. While not all employers express great leadership qualities, it’s important to take time to recognize and learn from those who do.

What leadership traits do you feel are the most successful when it comes to inspiring innovation?

Joanna Riley Weidenmiller is the CEO and co-founder of The One-Page Co. She earned her bachelor’s in foreign affairs from the University of Virginia and lives in Beijing and San Francisco. Connect with Weidenmiller and 1-Page on Twitter @1pagebiz, Facebook, and 1-page’s blog.

Mineral Sunscreen for Kids? Cool.

Hello Inspiring Gs!

If you haven't checked out Fab.com, it's a fun way to see what's trendy in the world of product design. The biggest lesson I've learned: there is literally a market for everything! With a daily sale covering everything from kids to pets to home, and products ranging from furniture to clothing to gadgets, there's always something interesting to see.

Today, this one caught my eye enough to share: Tickle Time mineral sunblock for kids.

Designed by an actress (Anne Heche) and a make-up company (La Bella Donna), it looks easy and fun to use. And really, non-greasy sunscreen?  Great idea! I have to do a little more research of course (SPF protection, etc.), but if all pans out, I might want some for me, too! 

If you've already tried Tickle Time or decide to, let me know how you like it.  I'd love to discover an effective, non-liquid sunblock - for every day protection for Luji and me in our sunbaked environment (I'm constantly on the look out for new options that don't make us stinky or greasy), and especially when air travel is part of our sunny plans.  

Tickle Time may be just the ticket.

Rocks

I have a thing for rocks. I'm not sure when it started or why it's such an innate part of my being, but it is. Rocks hold a sort of majesty for me in a way only nature could impart. 

Maybe it is because I grew up amid ice-cut granite canyons. Maybe it is what drew me to this dramatic desert landscape I now call home. Whatever it is, I embrace it without question but never make a big deal of it. It's not my career. Not my life's focus. It just is.

From as early as I can remember, I've collected rocks. I'm sure my mom and dad had something to do with it: camping and hiking with my family when I was a kid afforded ample opportunities to acquire new specimens, which I of course discarded after a while in favor of not packing them when I moved into my new room, my first apartment, etc.  Once I settled into adulthood and began spending time outdoors again, that impulse to gather the ones that have a story to tell, the rocks that seemingly jump out at me from amid their peers with their unique colors and patterns, was reawakened. Any road trip, camping trip, or day of hiking will find me coming home with a few rocks in my pocket.

And much to my delight - Luji shares my passion for appreciating and collecting unique rocks.  Our kitchen window sill displays a collection of our favorites. It's where I've historically chosen to display them - a place where I can appreciate them during the course of a normal day, every day. And they never cease to make me feel happy inside. Why? Who knows?  I'll venture a guess though...

Perhaps it's because they are proof of the awesome power that exists in the universe, and the beauty that results when something allows itself to change with time. 

In many parts of the world, it is traditional to give small gifts. On my recent trip to China, I chose to take rocks from the canyon near our house, along with a personal message about those rocks. I was assured by friends who have worked and lived in China that the people there would be touched by this small, personal gift. My morning appreciation of our rocks on their window perch inspired me to share the personal message I included with those gifted rocks with you today:

"My daughter and I chose these rocks from many gathered near our home in Southern Utah, just a few minutes from beautiful Zion National Park.  She and I share an admiration for rocks because each one is unique. Like us, each has its own story to tell of how it came to be as it is today, and each will continue to change with time.

To me, rocks are tangible examples of the creative outcomes that result when diverse elements work together to form something unique, beautiful, and useful.

We display rocks as inspiring art in our home and offices, incorporate them into the jewelry we make, and delight in sharing their unique beauty with friends near and far. Today, my wish is that they will inspire you to share a piece of yourself and in turn, inspire someone else."

Today, from the inspiring landscape I call home, I hope you, too, will be inspired to embrace the beauty that comes with change...and share it freely with those who come across you on their hike through life.

Inspired by Chengdu: Introduction (Post 1)

Originally published at the Inspiring Girls Experience on September 18, 2012.

Last week I had the opportunity to speak in Chengdu, China, at the 2012 China International Friendship Cities conference. It was an exciting opportunity, and simply being in China for those few days, listening to speakers from around the world promote their perspectives and successes, was an inspiring cultural and business education.  

My talk was brief (organizers limited us to six minutes each, complete with gong when your time was up...a misplaced motivational choice from my perspective but effective none-the-less), and a little different from the others : I urged the audience to remember to keep empathy at the forefront in our urbanization and development decisions - always keeping in mind that a city's stakeholders are its inhabitants, and prioritizing other goals over the fundamental needs and desires of its citizens will lead to far more lost than gained in the long run. 

I kept it within the six minute mark! No gongs for me.

What I really wanted to speak about, however, had there been time to fully develop the idea for the audience that day, is that empathy - the basis of both design thinking and effective leadership - ties together these two individually effective practices to create an extremely powerful tool for discovering and implementing novel solutions to difficult challenges.  

Over the next several days and posts, I invite you to come along and explore some of what developed as I prepared for, spent time in, and finally returned home from Chengdu. 

Tune in tomorrow for the first installment of Inspired by Chengdu: Adopting the Leadership Personality of a Design Thinker.  

In the meantime, happy leading!

Inspired by Chengdu: Leadership (Post 4 of 4)

This is the final post in the series Inspired by Chengdu: Adopting the Leadership Personality of a Design Thinker. We signed off last week after talking a bit about design thinking. Today, we'll talk about why those design thinking traits matter in leadership. Now that the entire series is published, I encourage you to go back and read all four posts in succession, then consider which pieces of a design thinking leadership personality you possess - and which ones you might foster still...

There are unique issues embedded in our efforts to take giant leaps forward in urban development: technology, transportation, education, and social reform are just a few examples. Trying to tackle them all at once seems a daunting task. Design thinking, as Mr. Brown describes, gives communal structure to the issues, helping us tackle each one individually without losing site of its place within the global human framework. That last sentence has design thinking written all over it, by the way: it creates a picture in our mind of why and how design thinking functions as an architecture to help creatively solve complicated problems. As you consider one issue from several different perspectives, the issues related to it are naturally considered as well. 

With as popular and successful as design thinking is, however, thinking like a designer is simply not enough. Great solutions are not discovered, developed and implemented on design thinking alone. The real impact of thinking like a designer is in adopting the leadership personality of true design thinkers, those who not only understand how to discover and develop practical solutions by applying the methodology of design thinking to their work, but understand how to successfully inspire and work with others to implement those solutions. 

In other words, discovering the best solution is step one. Implementing that solution is step two+. For design thinking to result in tangible outcomes, the traits described in Post 3 must be converted into a leadership context: the leadership personality of design thinkers must blossom to communicate why this is the best solution, gather the resources (and fans) necessary to support its development, and finally, implement!

When you begin to see the personality traits of design thinkers as leadership qualities, you realize design thinking places far more at your fingertips than a methodology to organize and test ideas, on its own, can do. Some of us may choose to stay within the discover and design arena, some may choose to work within the inspire and implement arena, and some may choose to function along the entire continuum - bringing their creative, inspirational and execution talents to bear on a project from start to finish. In projects around the globe, including many I've worked on in the past, the designers do the creative problem solving and then pass it off to leaders to implement. This tends to work when the leadership team has been intricately involved in the design process because even if they don't know they are adopting design thinking traits, they understand exactly why a particular solution was chosen and can see how to implement it effectively within their organization. I maintain that it works even better when the designers themselves think like leaders - applying their design thinking traits to the leadership realm, inspiring those close to the project but outside professional design to do the same, and designing solutions that innately consider what successful implementation will require. This combination is the golden ticket, and when those aforementioned popular design thinking efforts in large organizations fail, the reasons can often be traced back to a lack of one or the other - designers or leaders - adopting the leadership personality of design thinking across the continuum of good design and effective leadership.

In every stage of development, and in nearly every situation, design thinkers strategically consider how people will feel about solutions proposed. That is why those who adopt the leadership qualities of design thinkers are able to make such a difference. Leaders who constantly ask: What do people want and what drives those desires?  How will they react? How can discoveries be modified along their ongoing development path to better accommodate those reactions? - and then observe the answers - are embracing the personality traits of design thinkers as leadership qualities worth fostering, both in themselves and in others. Great designers do the same. 

Remember, empathy promotes empathy. 

Design thinking is driven by empathy, and empathy is the foundation of superb leadership. By adopting the leadership personality of a design thinker, we tie these two powerful tools together in a win-win approach that can solve even the most challenging of problems. As a leader, once you become comfortable with the iterative, seemingly chaotic cycle of design thinking, you will find you are able to capitalize on its inherent leadership qualities and rely on it as a flexible, extremely effective tool for smart growth. As a designer, when you embrace design thinking traits as a leadership personality, your effectiveness in working with leaders to translate your designs into lasting solutions will reach new heights - in urbanization and beyond.

Xie xie.

Inspired by Chengdu: Design Thinking (Post 3 of 4)

Welcome back to "Inspired by Chengdu - Adopting the Leadership Personality of a Design Thinker."  Let's continue our journey with a conversation about design thinking...

Essentially, design thinking is an iterative (sometimes, seemingly chaotic) process that trained designers use to organize and work through challenging problems. It has received a great deal of attention in the last several years, with organizations around the globe spending millions to incorporate design thinking into their innovation methodologies. Design thinking works because it is inherently human-centered: designers are trained to approach problems with empathy, finding the solutions that humans want and need.  This empathetic foundation makes design thinking extremely flexible, comprehensive, applicable, and effective in exploring solutions for all types of situations. In short, the designer’s tool box offers powerful insight into the whys, hows, and what ifs that can derail even the best intentions when they are not considered first from a human perspective.

So what is in the designer’s tool box? 

“Many people outside of professional design have a natural aptitude for design thinking,” according to IDEO’s Tim Brown in his book, Change by Design. I’m absolutely one of those natural design thinkers - and I’m sure many of you are, too.   

Just how do you know if you think like a designer?  Well, Mr. Brown describes design thinkers as:

1. Empathetic. Design thinkers have the ability to see things from several different perspectives and therefore consider details that may be missed by others.” 

Think about your neighbors and how you imagined they felt as you explored the perfect world in your mind. During that empathetic journey, you tapped into their thoughts and feelings; put yourself in their shoes. You observed the world from their perspective and used that information to rearrange the details, which affected how you responded to their needs. Empathy promotes empathy. And empathy supports leadership.

2. Integrative thinkers. We design thinkers “consider even the most contradicting points in both data and human responses because we understand that often the most innovative solutions lie within the context of the most conflicting issues.” 

Evaluating options for healthy urban development and lessons learned from others who have done it before, through a designer’s lens, will nearly always offer conflicting solutions. Being integrative in approach, design thinkers embrace that conflict, realizing that within it lies the opportunity to do things better.

3. Optimistic. Design thinkers believe “there is at least one solution that is better than the current alternatives, and [we] tenaciously pursue that solution.” 

I would venture a guess that each of you can identify at least one scenario in the world you just imagined that is better than the alternatives that exist today.  Even better, your optimism and energy to pursue that alternative is contagious.

4. “Enthusiastically collaborative.” Design thinkers draw energy from the ideas and experiences of others and openly explore and contribute [our] own various interests and talents to the team.” 

Successfully creating an environment of sustainable growth through an architecture of policy, business, culture, education, community and environmental concern requires everyone’s best work: and it starts with the expectation that our best work is exactly what the team will get.

5. “Experimenters who are not afraid to push ideas outside the box.” This does not mean that you go big or you go home.  It does mean that identifying a lot of ideas, choosing a few potentially good ones, pushing them beyond a prescribed comfort zone, then collecting feedback and adjusting each until you’ve identified the best option, allows us to experience each idea as a tangible solution. Designers call it prototyping. Start small, try something out, make adjustments, and hone in on the best solution.  

Now that we know what the traits are, how do we help leaders leap?  We'll talk about that as we wrap up our journey tomorrow...